Hating Ourselves.

And Why It's Important.



Why do we hate ourselves? Oh…let me count the reasons. There are plenty of reasons we hate ourselves, isn’t that right? But the reasons our inner critic gives us - you know, that long list of blame-filled bullet points, documenting how much we suck and where we need to compensate to be loved, well those are not real. They are just illusions created in our childhood and perfected by society to keep us in a mold, not of our own making, mind you. Or maybe it’s just in our DNA? I don’t know.  What I do know is that it gets the best of us. We are not alone in our self-loathing. What percentage of the population hates itself? I don’t know. A google search was fruitless. And I tend to give up easily…I’m sorry ☹️😞


But I bet it was a lot. And it’s not because anyone’s too fat, stupid, ugly, dumb. It’s because we have a part of ourselves that needs healing. So, in true SoulFed tradition, what are we waiting for? Let’s dive right in!


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Self hatred and the inner critic.  Get a room already!

At SoulFed, we are all about listening to your gut (and healing it for that matter). These two are so intertwined, there can’t be one without the other! That inner critic is that nagging voice inside of us that tells us nothing we ever do is good enough. It tells us that we are different from others and not in a good way. It makes us do things that are not true to our authentic selves. It is so painful to listen to and yet it is there all the time, waiting for us to fail. Reminding us of our losses but never our wins.  Whipping the joy out of us and any situation we entertain.

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The inner critic is a liar whose 👖🔥🧯

Have you ever been curious as to who your inner critic is? I mean, whose voice does it belong to? Is it yours? Does it belong to someone else? What does that voice say to you when it speaks? Who has spoken to you that way in your life? 


Our inner critic is the real boogey man that we are always trying to escape. But we can’t. Everywhere we turn, it’s always there. I’m not telling you this to depress you or make things feel hopeless. I’m telling you this because in order to defeat the enemy, we must meet the enemy - half way. So, having said that…

How do we combat self hatred?

So in order to beat self hatred we need to get curious about it and see what it says to you and how it lives in the ecosystem containing your esteem and all your beliefs. Know first and foremost that your critic and your beliefs can’t hurt you.  In order to combat self-hatred, you must listen to it. What does it say? Where does it come from? Write it down.  Every time you have a negative thought write it down.  And then write the reverse of that thought.


A negative belief might be something like "I am not good enough," "I am useless" or "I am the absolute worst." You may also have received negative messages from your parents or other important people in your life, such as teachers or coaches.  These beliefs can become so ingrained in our subconscious minds that we don't even realize they are there anymore! This is why it is so important for us to recognize these beliefs and learn how to change them.


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In Conclusion...

So remember: if you often think "I am the worst person in the world", then replace it with "I am pretty freakin awesome, and people LOVE me". If you feel like a failure in life, then replace this thought with something more positive such as: "failure is part of life and I am learning.” and then list all the times you’ve accomplished something, even if it’s small.  There is no easy road to loving ourselves and it’s going to be dark and scary and confusing at times sometimes.  But that’s how the revolution begins.

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